“I love to move like a mouse inside this puzzle for the body, balancing the wish to be lost with the need to be found.” 

― Billy Collins, Questions About Angels

I was married September 18th, 2019 to an incredible man — Olivier.

Our love is kismet — I am joyous, and each day I pray to God with gratitude.

“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place”

― Kurt Vonnegut

Be patient and kind — always remain faithful and true to what is within your Self.

I am intending to discuss politics without discussing a political opinion — 

“Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. It requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge… is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding.”

― Bill Bullard

Empathy — a topic for which I will include in presenting a dialogue accounting the behavior of the political. I am observing the climbing temperature of America’s emotional association towards the outcome of 2020 — and I question how it is we plan to justify our actions by means of an outcome? Is it virtuous to exploit candidates and communities in order to elect a specific political president? Are we teaching the children of the world democracy? 

I have a difficult time respecting any candidate due to the nature of their behavior, and lack tact to investigate their platform and promises — for who is a person within their process, potential or present without a symbol of humility, integrity, and loyalty the constitution? 

“Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end.”

― Immanuel Kant

There is this haunting heroism to the election — where we glorify some sense of history in comparing to what is our current President or Political Climate. I wonder where we went from seeking peace to seeking power? 

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

I see the rise of power within the Self when an intimate belief becomes the belief of another — behaviorally we mask ourselves with indifference or mute impressions, though I look into the garden and wonder who holds the power there? Is it the tall sunflower? The spreading dandelion? The potent herbs? Which sense signified the greatest power — vision, touch, an inhalation? 

I have learned thus far in this life — nature receives harmony by being still and continuing on in an organic process. Many human beings trust in nature to behave well, and still — we seek greater and greater “control” or regulation of the human being. I question whether we trust the environment more than a person’s heart or ego? — Or, perhaps we believe in the power of matter. I have seen a storm, and felt greater surrender than to the loving words of an ‘other’ — it is the individual personality which interests my soul today, for do we live by virtue and intellect or morality and passion? Which unravels into diversity and freedom? 

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.” 

― Friedrich Nietzsche

This thought, as all my others before will end with an inconclusive notion on what is true and what is not — as the change is already existing within, and therefore I then and again am unknown. I hope to be good in relationship and allow all to be discovered anew — with joy and divinity. There is much more inside — these are simply small thoughts.

“To feel everything in every way, To live everything from all sides, To be the same thing in all ways possible at the same time, To realize in oneself all humanity at all moments In one scattered, extravagant, complete and aloof moment.”

— Fernando Pessoa 

I am on the island now — Martha’s Vineyard, my current home. A gift to surrender to the boundaries of oceanic magnificence, a community of alchemy whether conscious or unconscious. 

At recent, in my zealous pursuit of spiritual intelligence, whether mystical, metaphoric, philosophic, theoretical, or simply practical — I read, and read again… enchanted by the depth of the human soul. What a wonder we are offered each and every moment, to bathe in the ether’s musk and alter it with joy — identify the concept of God as infinite harmony, adventure inward and feel outward with renewed amazement… it is a treasure to feel the sun and the moon, our present earning of peace.

While I learn more traditional ritual — I am practicing a Zoroastrian principle, ‘Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds’. This is the original “religion” of my paternal family root, which I appreciate due to their acceptability. To think in a positive light, to speak with thoughtfulness, and to act with compassion — this is my practice each day, to will what is created in my perceived reality with conscious love. 

I do feel what is between matter and matter is ether — and as we live within musk right now, we are capable of alchemically shifting this rooted scent into a new fragrant frequency for future generations to come. I feel we have the will and choice to create the environmental energy — leading to Eden Now. 

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, ‘Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.’ I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”

— Carl Rogers 

This sense of “awe” — it is God, for I feel God in observation… with all the senses. 

“To hold our tongues when everyone is gossiping, to smile without hostility at people and institutions, to compensate for the shortage of love in the world with more love in small, private matters; to show greater patience, to forgo the cheap revenge attainable from mockery and criticism: all these things we can do.”

— Hermann Hesse 

To live with discernment, to alter ego, and to infinitely forgive — these are “things we can do.”, always turning ourselves toward the illuminating quality of Nature. 

“I have a childish hope to gather all I love together and sit down beside and smile.”

— Emily Dickinson

This same child must be within the Self when we spoil our space with unconscious behavior — whisper for the child’s ears, wonder for the child’s creativity, and worship for the child’s resilience within. 

“I worship you, I can’t do anything about it, even by suffering.”

— Marguerite Duras

For in our syncretic ether, we are not alone — always a community, where we enter a new Era with Grace. 

This sense of trust of the Self — it wonders, while the ‘other’ wither within their own dawning shadow.

I hear, I observe, I yearn with a desire to alleviate the feeling of separation. To cajole the ‘other’ into rising with illuminant passion, rather than contesting equal being — our simple texture of opposing minds, which weave and alter the dimmed mind. This is not the uneducated brain, it is not the oppressed neurology, nor is it the voiceless neighbor. I am speaking of the each of us, the individual whom travels in their delusion tails. This compels me to adjust odd paradigms — tumbling in sublime free-will.

Rainer Maria Rilke

“For one human being to love another human being; that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person. It is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, to become world in himself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on him, something that chooses him and calls him to vast distance...

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest of people infinite distances exist, a marvelous living side-by-side can grow up for them, if they succeed in loving the expanse between them, which gives them the possibility of seeing each other as a whole and before an immense sky.”

As the trust of my Self has strengthened, I find my willingness to accept change, impermanence, and previously perceived abandonment has gone about a revelation — I find a new depth of understanding, a tempering for the soul, and an ease for longing. I find myself in transient emotional states — yearning for the ‘other’ to be as truthful as I am. What I mean to say is, I am finding joy in being a witness, the “immense sky”. I trust myself and my path of truth — which in turn, gives all ‘other’ entities complete freedom within my own perception.

I agree and disagree with Rilke here — I only disagree with Rilke’s idea of “union” in the final sense of all unions. The one which leads us to God. This Union is not separate, it draws three essences together — you, I, and God. Perhaps this is a long way away from my Now — still, it remains in my prayers. I am close, yet still working.